Sunday, December 2, 2007

Another Gloomy Day

Leave it to Ohio to have the worst weather in the world! I am getting very tired of the gloomy, rainy days. If it is going to be cold outside, I wish it would just snow. The mud and muck is rediculous.

I did realized that when I don't come up with a bunch of excuses and other things to do, I actually can get a lot done in a little time at the sewing machine. Part of my hesitation to sew has been due to the lack of intrest in my "wares". Everyone was so supportive about me putting my purses and totes "on the market" and I got all excited about it. Problem is, nothing is selling - and I mean NOTHING! Now I have all these purses and totes made up and a bunch of money wrapped up in them and I can't even break even on them. This pisses my dad of since, in his opinion, I was able to purchase the supplies then I should have been able pay him the money I owe him. While this has some basis of truth to it, I thought that I would get a larger return on my investment, pay him off AND be able to provide a decent Christmas for my daughter. Instead, I can't do any of the above and I have an inventory of purses and totes that nobody wants to purchase.

On the up side of my life, we went to another horse awards banquet. There were several people there that hadn't seen me since I started my Medifast journey. I heard several "you look fantastic" comments which all brought a smile to my face and helped me stay away from the dessert table. I will have to say that last night was the toughest that I have spent trying to avoid cheating on the plan. Thank God for my daughter who did her best to convince me that nothing on the table was worth losing 3 days of weight loss over. She said that AS she is eating a little of everything that was up there. Oh what I wouldn't do for her metabolism. But, alas, I do not have her metabolism and so I continue with Medifast to become a healthier (and thus thinner) me.

Speaking of healthier, I am doing my best to focus on the health benefits of Medifast rather than the weight loss. My goal is to train my brain and my body to want to be healthy. I know one of the side effects of being healthy will ultimately be weight loss, but there is so much more. Being healthy will also mean less pain, more energy, and a longer life. Seeing my daughter become concerned about her body image when she is a junior's size 7 opened my eyes to what teenagers see and hear from everyone around them. Since she sees me being concerned about my weight, it would only be natural for her to follow suit. In focusing on being healthy, instead of being thin, I am hoping that she will follow that path and realize that a healthy lifestyle is much more important than a diet.

On the personal front, my relationship with my guy in Montana is waining. Loving someone is hard enough when they live close and we can be together physically. I haven't even met this guy face to face, though I do know a lot about him. Part of the problem is that I don't trust half of what he tells me. One of the first emails he sent me included a story of how he lost his last girlfriend because he lied to her. The lies were over stupid stuff, just to make him look better. Now, he tells me stories and I just blow them off like I know they are lies. I don't know if they are or not, but most of what he says is just unbelieveable. In addtion to all of that he has a cell phone on my account that we share minutes on, since we were killing my minutes by not having mobile to mobile. I very emphatically told him not to use that cell phone for calling anyone but me. He swears he isn't, but the bill tells me otherwise. Two months in a row now he has caused us to go over the anytime minutes alotment. Someone suggested I raise the minutes on the plan, but I wouldn't have to if he would just use the phone for what it was meant for - calling me. Needless to say, I just don't think this whole thing is going to work out much longer, unless I can find a way to trust him more.

So, goals for this week are to complete the order for 7 stockings and start some of the Christmas gift sewing I planned on doing this year. I know I will also have the normal chores in the barn and lugging in the firewood. It is about time to start thinking about Christmas cards too. That is usually my one big splurge for the holiday. Other things like wrapping paper and stuff, I don't mind going cheap on, but my Christmas cards always have to be "Leaning Tree" brand and usually feature horses or a farm scene. Just a thing I guess.

Now - off to the sewing machine!

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