Saturday, January 26, 2008

Feeling Better

Isn't amazing how discussing issues with a friend and discovering that you are not the only one dealing with a particular issue relieves so much of the stress associated with that issue? That is what happened to me this morning when I talked to my buddy in San Antonio. She is also dealing with issues that surround staying on the Medifast program and admitted that she "cheated" yesterday. Since I haven't had a full day truly on plan since before my surgery, I have been feeling like a complete loser, but knowing that she is struggling too makes me feel a little better. It isn't like I want her to fail, but at least I know that I am not alone with this.

I also found that researching Borderline (BPD) yesterday and going over everything about it again, helped me deal the emotions I am dealing with right now. I have always known that BPD is always going to be a part of my life, but I hadn't had to deal with it for a while so I forgot many of my coping mechanisms. Putting those mechanisms to work and opening up myself a little has made the coping a little easier. The emotions and struggles are still there, but I am able separate them from each other so they are not so overwhelming. All of this is exhausting, but at least I am off of the proverbial ledge now.

Being able to post some new pics of my weight loss was also uplifting. Sometimes I feel like I am fishing for amazing reactions, but those reactions help me focus on the program a little more. Knowing that others are seeing the changes in my body and that it isn't just a figment of my imagination makes it all real.

Goals for this week.... as usual, I have quilts that need to be worked on, 3 consecutive days if 100% compliance to the program, I think those are enough to keep me busy and focused.

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